I wanted to suck a dick, too, and swallow cum. More accurately, I was fantasizing getting fucked by a guy. I was turned on by the taboo (and yes, most straight guys find gay sex taboo even if modern times dictate otherwise).Īnd so, after over a year of beating off to tranny/gay porn, I had begun to fantasize about having sex with a guy. Moving on from trannies to full-on gay was quick and painless to my surprise. At times, I can almost imagine myself being in a relationship with one. I was really into it, as some of them are super-hot. I guess that's when it really escalated for me, when I found myself watching trannies. It didn't take long until I had graduated into some seriously fucked-up sex, all in pursuit of quick and explosive orgasms. if it's on the internet, I've watched it. So I had started watching gang bangs, cuckolding, BDSM, humiliation, grannies, midget chicks getting pounded, you name it. I needed something different, more exciting, even if I wasn't necessarily into that type of sex. Conventional sex wasn't cutting it for me anymore. With time, I found myself growing desensitized by porn. I pull my pants down, put some shit on, and five minutes later, I want to be relieved. It would take too long to really get myself going, and I was never the kind of guy who enjoyed watching porn for hours at a time. Or maybe I am turned on, but not to the extent that I'm looking for. Nowadays, I am barely turned on watching plain old vaginal sex. The thing about porn is that it grows duller over time. If I had to guess, I would say it's the product of years of watching porn.
And yet, I had been having these crazy fantasies for a couple of years now of having sex with a dude. I have never found guys attractive, not even in the slightest. I'm decent-looking with a so-so body and as straight as they come. I am a guy in his mid-thirties, 5' 11" tall on my best days and weighing 170 pounds. You can't put a price on freedom, and only the unfortunate among you will understand how lonely it can get, being trapped in a loveless relationship. I had a good lawyer, but he had taken me for every cent I had. I had spent the past twelve months squabbling in court with my vindictive ex-wife over child support and the custody of our two children.
I ended my almost decade-long marriage, marriage that I had never been happy in.